Effect Essay #8

This past year I have been undergoing the battle of trying to find the right antidepressant medication for me. I am now on trial number three. When you’re not feeling well in the first place, the last thing you want is to mess around with all sorts of medications that give you crappy side effects. But I assure you there is light at the end of the tunnel. When you finally find the right one for you, a light bulb will come on and you will notice the effects of having a right mind, a good feeling inside and a better outlook in life.

Before I started taking the med I felt tired all the time. No amount of coffee or Mt. Dew could make me feel energized what so ever. I was never like this; before I had my children I was full of energy and very athletic. But as most of you know, children can take lots of energy from a mother, but also while in the womb they flush your system out and soak up all of the necessary things for them to survive and grow. Especially your body’s vitamins and estrogen. So this is the first effect I noticed from my medication, which was energy and rejuvenation. I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed and wind myself up for the “different day, same shit” attitude. Now I’m up with a smile on my face and loving life.

Even though I have been through so much in my rollercoaster life, it doesn’t mean that I have the right to mope around all day and have a poor me negative attitude that just brings everyone down. The second effect of this medication and a little bit of a boost from a friend that has been in the same predicament (surrounding yourself with positive people is very good reinforcement) was, I noticed that I had a better sense of coping/dealing with issues. My children didn’t deserve a mother that didn’t feel that complete happiness in her soul or someone that just painted on faces for those days’ activities. They, including myself, deserved the real thing. I mean, you’re going to have the good and bad days; for example, when my mother calls and all’s she wants to talk about is how her life sucks because her once drug addicted husband(my stepfather) is jobless and their broke, and for the millionth time tells you that she is going to come visit you and the kids but I already know it’s a lie and she’s going to come up with some stupid excuse I have already heard over and over the next day why she couldn’t come down. I will always have this in my life and it will always hurt but now that I’m taking this medication I have found a way to cope and deal with it without letting it ruin mine or my families day.

The last effect that this has on me is one of the many but is probably the most important. Even though I have taken the med for a while and I’m feeling good, doesn’t mean I can stop taking it and be able to continue on feeling good because I absolutely cannot. For me to be so dependent on something and knowing that when I wake up in the morning for the rest of my life I will have to take something to make me feel myself, well, so be it. I see it as it’s not only making me feel good but its giving the lost pieces of me back that I have lost through the years and If I have to put an a reminder on my daily planner to take it every day or strategically place it by my tooth brush and make up then I will. I’ll do anything to keep myself under control because I love my life and my family.

If I just keep in mind of who I was before I was taking it; feeling exhausted and drained all day, ok one minute and crying the next, letting the bad days and negative people control my life. I remember that I really don’t want to feel like that again for my health’s sake and for the sake of my family. The reason I feel better in the first place is because of the medication so I will continue on with my happy self because I am in control of me now! 

This year's different (Essay #7)

                I anxiously wait all year long to enjoy the strings of lights that outline the houses, the big red decorative bows and wreaths on the front doors of others homes as I drive by. Somehow it seems to keep getting closer and closer to Christmas before we can do this, and it saddens me! So this year, I will step forward and say “So what if it’s before Thanksgiving!” and “So what if there’s no snow on the ground!” I am going to deck my house out with Christmas decorations now so that my family can enjoy it even longer!

            First I am going to go down into the basement and locate all of my boxes that are labeled “Christmas” in big permanent marker letters, which add up to be about 4 or 5  medium sized boxes. I bring them all upstairs and open them up just like its Christmas morning with a huge smile on my face. I carefully take them out one by one, each having its own unique memory popping into my head as it lay in my hand. From little ornaments that my children and I crafted up last year to the very first ones from when they were first born and even ones that I invented as a kid. It takes me back to the ever so delightful stroll down memory lane and shortly reminiscing on the good times.

             Then I let the children go to town, only after I do the MOST important thing you have to do before starting or it just isn’t the same! You flip, flip, flip through the overloaded cd case until you say “AHH HA!”, then slip the disc into the cd player and you crank up the Christmas tunes! As the kids are decorating the house with popcorn on a string and perfectly colored Santa’s and Christmas tree’s get tacked and taped up everywhere, I’m out on the front deck unraveling the strings of lights. It doesn’t matter how carefully you wind those lights up the year before they are always tangled and a bugger to untangle. After that’s done I plug them all in and make sure they work. They do! Yay! I peek in the big front windows at the kids dancing away to the music having a good ol’ time, and then I have to join them after seeing their cute little faces. I pick them up and twirl with them in the kitchen for a while then its back to work and onto the next step, putting the lights up outside.

             In my opinion, I find it way easier to put up the lights and things outside without snow everywhere and the kids little fingers don’t get so cold and it’s much more enjoyable. While the kids hold the lights up on the railings in place I come along and staple (by the way, staples are better than nails!). After we finish that I top the house off with icicles all along the roof and the garage. We throw some lights on two little fake trees that sit on each end of the deck. Then we head inside to do the tree. We dance around decorating the tree together but we do not put the tree topper on until daddy gets home so he can have a little involvement of the holiday spirit.

          Last, after all the decorating is done, we bake our traditional Santa and snowmen shaped sugar cookies and colorfully frost and sprinkle them. We patiently wait for the sun to go down and daddy to arrive from work. It’s just like the big blast of that first fire work you see when you turn on all the lights. It’s so exciting! It’s a rush, and so beautiful! Everybody should do it early like us, so we all can enjoy this warm cozy feeling inside even longer!

Essay #6

Essay #6

                There is only one creature on this earth that gives me the heebie geebies. Coincidently it’s the only creature that I happen to come in contact with on a daily basis. You would think that the mice family and I would have developed some sort relationship based on the fact that I can pretty much expect there will be one greeting me at some point in my day. It doesn’t matter how many I kill because it seems like if I kill one, five more are born and programed to make my life a living hell. These are the top 3 reasons as to why I hate them with a passion. They tortured me as a child in my sleep, they are the reason I cringe, close my eyes and slowly reach into tight dark spaces, and those beady eyed, scrap feasting mongrels have the power to make me jump out of my mini-van and scream like a little girl.

                There was this little tiny square door in the ceiling of my old childhood bedroom. The typical reason to be scared of the attic you would think for a kid would be ghosts or monsters, but no, mine was mice. Not only because of the fact that I had little tiny chewed holes in the ceiling and mouse poop in the deep crevices of the rooms corners but the main factor being the sounds. I could hear their little nails tapping across the wood floor above me while I lay in my pitch dark room at night. Their annoying little squeaking sounds they made, as if they were having a mandatory meeting on how they were going to raid the kitchen. It got to the point that when I didn’t hear any sounds it frightened me even more because I didn’t know where they were.

                Bringing up things from the basement is an absolute terror for me because I know that any item, whether a box or a boot could be a potential residence of the mouse family that coincides in my surroundings. Sometimes the kids are my Guiney pigs when opening things, if they find mice then momma doesn’t go anywhere near that box and it’s kicked outside until daddy gets home. We checked all of the boots and were extra sure nothing was living in them, but by the time I had my boots on I’m sure the neighbors down the street heard my horror scream after my toes sunk into one hiding in the toe of my boot. Oh good god that thing made me instantly sick to my stomach and cringe every year I put on my winter boots for the first time.

                Last winter I had problems with the heating system in my mini-van.  After finding out that my mice infected glove box was protecting them from freezing, my collection of napkins were their nesting materials and their source of food was McDonald’s French fries that usually were stuffed into the cracks of the seats. They probably thought they hit the Mack Daddy of all places to stay and had it made.  I was furious that I had to pay for a new heating coil that shit the bed after the mice chewed the wires off of it, but I was completely freaked out at the same time. The thought of one sneaking his way right up one of my pant legs makes me have severe panic attacks. Those darn things were going to be the death of me on I-95 one night on my way home from work I just knew it. But instead it happened at a red light in Orono around 11:30 p.m. on my way home from work. The creepy critter came out of hiding and scared the be-Jesus out of me. Without hesitating I jumped out of the van, screamed and brushed my clothes off frantically. In about 5 seconds I realized that I probably looked like a crazy person and was completely embarrassed.

                Mice gave me goosebumps from my younger years all the way up to this very moment. From haunting me with their scattering squeaking sounds in the attic, hiding in my winter boots, costing me money to making me act like total fool in public. I’m absolutely petrified of them, although they are such small creatures it is my biggest fear among all fears!

Essay #5---REWRITE!

              A few years ago, back when I was a single mom to my 16 month old baby boy and 3 year old daughter we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment on the back side of this wicked old building on the top floor. I worked a lot of hours at a local restaurant because at the time I wasn’t receiving ANY help what so ever for the kids. My cousin Amanda (and best friend) lived in the downstairs apartment with her boyfriend and she offered to help me out by watching the kids while I went to work. I worked so many hours that basically Amanda was raising my kids. Thank god she was loving to them and they really enjoyed being with her.  I told her that I would do my best to pay her. She really wasn’t bothered, she told me I was family and she didn’t work anyways so she needed something to do. So later on in the story I will give examples of just how much of a back stabbing, conniving, liar she is that lead me to deleting her out of mine and the kids life.

 Some nights when I finished work, I barely made enough tips to put gas in my car but I would do the best I could to pay her for watching the kids. I know that 15 bucks for 8 hours wasn’t very much but she always told me to just keep it and not give her any because she really didn’t mind watching the kids, and she loved having them there. On other nights when I made really good tips I would give her enough to make up for when I didn’t give her much. I would say that I was pretty fair most of the time. I even let them use my car when theirs broke down and bought them I don’t even know how many packs of cigarettes. When tax time finally came, I received a pretty hefty return and she knew exactly how much I got back. This is where everything just started to go downhill and suddenly she thought I was some rich person and became a totally different person that needed to disperse my hard earned cash in her direction! She started telling me about when she use to babysit for her friend she got 3 or 4 dollars an hour per kid and that I needed to start paying her even more because the amount I gave her was a slap in the face. She pretty much made me feel like a piece of crap. What the hell does she expect! Holy crap I was making just about minimum wage and she wanted 8 bucks an hour!

She finally convinced her mother to co-sign with her to buy a house that was down the street and they needed to fix up the house a little like painting and a few repairs here and there. She said she needed close to 300 dollars to do these things and of course being the nice person I am sat right down and wrote out a check for 300 bucks. Only because the fact she repeatedly assured me that they would be paying that back. Many months went by after asking I don’t know how many times for the money. They would always say the same thing; they will have it the next week. Well guess what, they never did and I never intended on paying it back. She didn’t even have the decency to call me and tell me that she did some “figuring” and said that I owed her that money and it wasn’t necessary for her to pay it back, instead she wrote it in a letter. What a conniving little coward she was.

After she moved into her house (before the bullshit letter) she told me that if I let her use my washer and dryer I had in storage that I could do my laundry there instead of the laundry mat. Sounded like a good idea at the time, so I agreed. I even borrowed my father’s pickup to deliver it. When I did find some time to do my laundry she was conveniently not there or she would tell me that I would need to give her some money if I was going to do my laundry there because it made the electric bill sky rocket. When I finally decided to take them back because she wasn’t keeping her end of the deal, she refused to give them back and said that I owed her money. Those became her famous words “I owed her money”. I often wondered how she did her tallying. I mean what the hell is she charging me for?! Parking in her driveway or using her toilet?!

                It all started coming together in my head and realizing that she wasn’t a very nice person at all. She came up with a conniving scheme in her head, which I knew she was capable of doing but never thinking that I was actually, in the end, the one she was targeting. I was her family and her best friend, how could she have done this without feeling badly about herself at all. I don’t know what else I could have possibly done to please her. In return she stabbed me in the back by spreading false rumors about me. This goes to show right here that you cannot trust anybody. In the end she lost the most important things, family, a friend and two kids that loved her all because of greed and money.

3 Annotated Bibliographies

Dyes, Hippies Tie. "How to Tie Dye Dot Net" Learn How To Tie Dye. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. http://www.howtotiedye.net/

This website is very descriptive and organized about the steps to take during the process of tie dying a shirt. It’s laid out step by step, and I like how they have pictures to back up what their saying. I also like the fact that all of the information is just on the main web page instead of having to click link after link to get to it.

"How to Tie-Dye." Free Crafts for Kids. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. http://familycrafts.about.com/cs/tiedye/a/041601a.htm

I was kind of frustrated with this website. It’s not the kind of place that you can just quick, bam, boom and have the info at the tip of your fingers. You have to click link after link to get to actually where you need to be.

"Tie-Dye Instructions." Dharma Trading Co. Homepage. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. http://www.dharmatrading.com/info/soda_soak.html

Personally I liked this site the best. It had a really nice flow to it and described everything I needed to know. The design and layout of the page is also attractive and a definite big plus with the “Helpful hints” at the bottom of the page.

Example essay intro

A few years ago, back when I was a single mom to my 16 month old baby boy and 3 year old daughter we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment on the back side of this wicked old building on the top floor. I worked a lot of hours at a local restaurant because at the time I wasn’t receiving ANY help what so ever for the kids. My cousin Amanda (and best friend) lived in the downstairs apartment with her boyfriend and she offered to help me out by watching the kids while I went to work. I told her that I would do my best to pay her. She really wasn’t bothered, she told me I was family and she didn’t work anyways so she needed something to do. So later on in the story I will give examples of just how much of a back stabbing, conniving, liar she is that lead me to deleting her out of mine and the kids life.

Essay #4, in class essay

Once upon a time there was this cute little family tucked into the woods away from the road where they loved their wonderful 3 bedroom modular and double sliding glass doors that opened their home up to the great outdoors. I said to my husband one day, “Hunny, now that we have our own house and land, the kids are getting older and don’t find that our once cute cuddly coon cat can any longer be dressed up like a baby anymore (because she’s a fat butter ball), I think it’s time that we invest in another friendly family pet” My husband says, sure why not! Then, continued to say that he himself had actually been thinking the same thing. I said “great! Then we can start looking around” I myself was looking for something small and not so intimidating to the kids, which my mother had a shiatsu and she loved her and was always saying what a good dog she was, so I was going more towards that route. I didn’t think my husband would really go that extra step in looking and thought that probably whatever I got he would just go along with it.

Then later on that night at the dinner table I told my husband that I had found the most perfect pet. A little cute, cuddly 8 week old adorable shiatsu, and it was a friend of mine who was actually selling them for $400 dollars but she would give her to us for free, and to consider it our wedding present! I was so excited; the kids were laughing and wiggling in their chairs. After getting so caught in the moment, and forgetting the fact that he had been looking as well and may have an idea, I looked up at him and he said, with one eye brow hunched up to the middle of his forehead and that stupid grin on his face, “Ha, if you think I would actually agree to getting one of those homely, messy disgusting things that pisses and shits all over the house you are wrong and it will never happen” Just like that, he just spit out those words like nothing, the kids and I were shocked as if he let one loose at the dinner table or something. I said, “Oh, o.k. Mr. High all mighty, what exactly did you have in mind for the family pet?”

Uh-oh, bad mistake. Women, you should never just let your husband wander around aimlessly with no instructions or lists, especially while choosing the so called family pet! You always give instructions as to exactly what you want first and then persuade him to thinking that your examples are what is best for the family, duh! Because if not, he begins to come up with his own ideas of what is best, and you all know that in the end its what’s best suited to their benefit!! His list consists of, for example, the kind of dog that is strong and masculine, or the kind of dog you can pull the tail gate of the pickup and say come on, let’s go fishing or hunting. Or, futuristically speaking, something that he can eventually breed and make money off of. Do you see what I mean? This kind of dog is yes of course, a figgin Pit-Bull, something that as a mother absolutely gasps at the idea of getting and finds it absolutely unthinkable and ridiculous to ever have that kind of animal prowling around my children! An animal that has the capability of ripping limbs off kids, the kind of dog that forced people to come up with the idea of making the signs that read “Beware of Dog” But, the funny part is, he says “they are good dogs though, if you train them right”. Absolutely not! No Way! It doesn’t matter, you can train a dog to the best of your ability, and yes, may be a good dog but, what if someday something pisses it off and goes loco on the kids! Hello!

So I left it be for a couple of days and reminded my husband that if he came home with a Pit-Bull I would make him sleep in the dog house with it and its permanent home would be in the garage because I absolutely refuse to take on the responsibilities of that dog while he was at work. I know it sounds a little inhumane but the fact of the matter is, it was in my persuasion to keep that animal out of my home! Plus I already had my mind set that I was getting that shiatsu puppy, and my friend had already made plans to bring her down. The kids were so excited when they finally met Lilly Mae McNally. She was the perfect size for them, just a little tiny thing. And actually she was already kind of part of the family because she was a sister to my mother’s dog Sophie. It was perfect though, and I was going to be doing all of the caring for her anyways. Like my husband was going to give her baths, remember to feed her or wake up in the morning to take her out to pee. That’s just how I see it, and I’m sure many people would agree.
Over all, my husband was not too impressed. He still looks at her with disgust and absolutely hates it when he finds her sleeping beside his side of the bed. He treats her like a wicked step child that always does wrong. I mean, yes she’s going to make mistakes, she’s a puppy for gosh sakes! He says that she pee’s on the floor every time I go to work. I said well that’s your own fault, if you take her outside then she wouldn’t do that, but now you’ve got her scared to death of you so whenever you go to grab her she pee’s! He’s learning though, do you know how I can tell? Every once and a while I’ll see Lilly snuggled up beside his feet when I come home from work and ill tease him about it the next day. Every time I catch him being nice to her he always says “I hate that dog with a passion, but I would feel awful if something bad every happened to her” So, in conclusion, even though your man comes up with these crazy idea’s and you have to snap them back to reality with a more logical plan, and even though they don’t like it they will eventually adjust to it and it will be old news and find that no matter what he will develop a soft spot for our little Lilly Mae.